Aerobicide (1987)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮½

DIRECTOR– David A. Prior

PLOT– A young woman who loves to visit the gym dies in a horrible aerobics/burned-to-death accident. Years later, the same gym is plagued by suspiciously gruesome murders. It’s up to a crack team of local detectives to solve the brutal crimes and while hitting their target heartrates and achieving that perfect bod.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. Deadly safety-pins
  2. Officer Peterson – policeman extraordinaire
  3. Wedgies
  4. Totally not-gay workout buddies
  5. Dollar Store Jane Fonda

REVIEW– The eighties were an awesome decade. Pastel colors, British invasion dance music, Molly Ringwald, and Member’s Only jackets!

About 1981, Olivia Newton-John asked us to get physical in her smash 80s hit. The video featured Ms. Newton-John in wonderfully tacky workout gear, while overweight guys simultaneously worked out and drooled over her.

It was the seminal point in the aerobic craze that swept the country that year. Jane Fonda released her workout video the same year and people everywhere started wearing headbands 24 hours a day.

Maybe you remember the time President Ronald Reagan appeared on the cover of Newsweek in his favorite headband…

Aerobics literally saved this country from the Communists of the U.S.S.R.

God bless the U.S.A.!

Sorry, I got carried away… back to Aerobicide.

The movie really has no business including aerobics in the plot. It has nothing that ties it to working out… exercise… or anything along those lines. Nothing.

However, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why this film takes place in a gym, though…

Seriously, where can you film women in these positions for hours and not be considered a creepy, perverted, sexual deviant?

Answer: Hollywood

It wasn’t coincidence Harvey Weinstein got away with his crimes for years in Hollywood. For a town that likes to tout itself as progressive, ever notice how women past the age of 35 disappear from starring roles… Yet men last forever in those same type roles.

Remember Top Gun… Tom Cruise is approaching 60 years old and still stars opposite 20-year-old starlets.

His co-star from that movie? Kelly McGillis.

When was the last time you saw her?

Anyways… Aerobicide is a slasher movie set in a Jane Fonda workout video. If that sounds fun to you, you’ll probably like the movie.


When Jenny joined Rhonda’s gym, she did not expect her workout to include dusting, answering the phone, and watering the plants.