Blood Freak (1972)

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RATING– ✭✭✭✭½

DIRECTOR– Brad F. Grinter & Steve Hawkes

PLOT– A handsome young Christian motorcyclist named Herschel meets a Bible-toting girl on the side of the highway. They go to a party where he falls for her wayward sister who gets him hooked on drugs. He soon takes a job at a turkey farm where two mad scientists are experimenting on turkeys. During lunch, Herschel eats an entire turkey laced with drugs that turn him into a turkey-monster (yes, you read that right… a turkey-monster). This turkey-monster must kill and drink human blood. Because that’s what turkeys do, I guess.

However, Herschel gets into a convertible, prays for God’s help, and kicks his habit.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. Elvis Presley, assistant turkey farmer
  2. Eating a whole turkey for lunch
  3. Serial killer turkeys
  4. Disillusioned turkey scientists
  5. The hairiest turkey-movie cast ever assembled

REVIEW– Hey guys… I just watched a movie about a Christian serial killer turkey monster addicted to dope! And I watched it all the way through… the entire thing!

I watched the E-N-T-I-R-E thing.

And guess what… I frickin’ loved it!

Blood Freak is truly the strangest movie I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen some weird stuff).

The movie was written by Brad Grinter and Steve Hawkes… the movie was also directed by the duo… and starred both too. So this thing can’t be blamed on just one person. It took two people to come up with this outstanding work of artistry.

Let’s take a closer look at both of these auteurs:

First, Steve Hawkes…

Mr. Hawkes, the star of Blood Freak, is a hulking man who was born in Croatia. He moved to Spain in the sixties to get into acting. He starred in a few Spanish Tarzan movies before making his way to Florida to film Blood Freak.

I’m not sure what the wildlife in Croatia or Spain is like. I’ve never been to either country before. There may be some scary poultry running around the countryside over there. Possibly a man-eating pidgeon… or a skull-crushing swan… maybe a pheasant that likes to decapitate humans?

Like I said, I just don’t know.

But evidently, Croatians everywhere believe that turkeys are blood-thirsty killing machines.

The animal that was chosen to be the monster in this movie could’ve logically been a dangerous one… like a lion or a tiger or an alligator or a bear or a snake or a wolverine or a coyote or a bobcat or a leopard or a shark or a wolf or a hyena… something that might actually be deadly to a human.

But Mr. Hawkes chose a turkey… most famous for being a delicious meal during the holidays. Definitely not a dangerous animal to people. Heck, I’ve never even heard of a person choking on a turkey bone.

But Mr. Hawkes grew up in Europe, so I’ll give him a pass.

However, let’s now move on to his partner Brad Grinter:

Mr. Grinter grew up right here in the good ol’ USA… where the turkey is celebrated. Most people believe a turkey is second to only the eagle as an American icon. Even Benjamin Franklin argued for the turkey as the United States official bird.

So there’s really no excuse for Mr. Grinter to portray turkeys as maniacal human killing machines. None.

Now maybe Mr. Hawkes brought Mr. Grinter the script featuring a man-eating turkey. Mr. Grinter read the script but was too afraid of his muscle-bound partner to point out that making the turkey scary was a poor idea. I wouldn’t blame the guy… Mr. Hawkes is a big dude.

That’s the only reason I could possibly understand for why this script was written…

Well… maybe both were higher than Cheech & Chong vacationing in Amsterdam when they wrote this film. I’d believe that also.

Either way, Blood Freak is a masterpiece. You need to see this movie. Trust me.


To supplement his Hee Haw paycheck, Roy Clark dabbled in home-dentistry.