CinemaBandits.com started over 10 years ago reviewing some of the most peculiar movies known to science. When Faulty Flicks merged with Cinema Bandits, we gained access to hundreds of reviews that exist in their vaults. We’ll be adding more and more of them each week.

Hercules (1983)

RATING- ✮✮ DIRECTOR- Luigi Cozzi REVIEW- The gods are watching over all of us. Making sure our life is fair. That our existence isn’t threatened by evil. And when the dark forces gain the upper hand, the gods bring life…

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Blood Games (1990)

RATING- ✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Tanya Rosenberg REVIEW- I’ve never heard of professional traveling baseball clubs that travel from town to town. Never mind professional traveling baseball clubs that travel from town to town filled with feminism activists…Or professional traveling baseball clubs…

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Massacre at Central High (1976)

RATING- ✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Rene Daalder REVIEW- High school is an awkward time. Relating to others in an unfamiliar place can create embarrassing situations. Remember The Brady Bunch… when Greg accidentally dyed his hair orange to be more “cool”? Remember Napoleon…

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The Divine Enforcer (1992)

RATING- ✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Robert Rundle REVIEW- Okay, so the last two films featured here star a Landers sister. Fine. I admit it. I’m going through a Love Boat/Fantasy Island phase. I just can’t get enough of those stars of yesteryear camping it…

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Deadly Trigger (1985)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Joe Oaks REVIEW- Deadly Trigger is a masterpiece. A hidden achievement buried on a VHS tape at the back of someone’s storage unit.  It was also released under the title Deadly Twins presumably because it stars the Landers Sisters. The…

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The Doll Squad (1973)

RATING- ✮✮ DIRECTOR- Ted V. Mikels REVIEW- The Saturn moon rocket has been destroyed by a madman. Utter destruction of a billion-dollar space program. He demands a ransom or threatens something even more devastating.  The government’s most advanced computer system…

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Abominable (2006)

RATING- ✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Edward Bernds REVIEW- Bigfoot is real. The debate is over. Finished. Kaput. Done. There may only be vague casts of plaster in the rough shape of something that resembles a foot. There may only be extremely blurry…

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Hobgoblins (1988)

RATING- ✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Rick Sloane REVIEW- Crazy telepathic puppet hobgoblins from the 1950s have invaded a Hollywood movie studio. That’s the premise of Hobgoblins.  Unfortunately, that’s about as far as the writer developed the story. From there it kinda falls apart…

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Space Mutiny (1988)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- David Winters REVIEW- Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “That’s a heck of a space movie!”? Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “Those are some awesome sets!”? Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “Darth Vader is such a great…

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Blood of Dracula’s Castle (1969)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- Al Adamson REVIEW- Dracula has retired. He’s done biting young girls’ necks. This is 1969… That’s so not groovy, man! Dracula even changed his name so that people won’t recognize him. Of course, he hasn’t quite given…

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Roller Boogie (1979)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Mark L. Lester REVIEW- Thank God for Star Wars!!!  I’ve always loved the Star Wars original trilogy, but this movie really gives a deeper meaning to that adoration. Star Wars mania swept the nation in the late ’70s. It was everywhere. Toys,…

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Pieces (1982)

RATING- ✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Juan Piquer Simón REVIEW- A killer is terrorizing a small college campus with a chain-saw. Campus security keeps finding dismembered girls all over the place. It’s just a mess.  They call the police, but the cops can…

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Zombie 3 (1988)

RATING- ✮✮ DIRECTOR- Lucio Fulci, Bruno Mattei, & Claudio Fragasso REVIEW- ‘Death 1’ is a top-secret biological weapon being developed by the Filipino army. It’s so secret, they’ve taken every security precaution imaginable including assigning four soldiers with mustaches to…

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Track Of The Moon Beast (1976)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- Richard Ashe REVIEW- Track Of The Moon Beast is a perfect example of the classic love story.  Boy meets girl. Boy becomes a geologist. Geologist takes off shirt. Girl falls in love. Geologist buys motorcycle. Geologist takes girl…

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The Astro-Zombies (1968)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Ted V. Mikels REVIEW- I’m not sure what was going on at the CIA in the 1960s.  They tried to topple Fidel Castro with The Bay Of Pigs… they also tried mind-controlling the hippies with LSD… and…

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Hercules in New York (1969)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Arthur Allan Seidelman REVIEW- Arnold Schwarzenegger travels to America because he is bored with his homeland. He finds a rather dainty little tender fellow, moves in with him, and explores all sorts of new and exciting lifestyles. …

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The Devil’s Sword (1984)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Ratno Timoer REVIEW- The Devil’s Sword is one hour and 41 minutes long… and I had absolutely no idea what was going on for approximately one hour and 40 minutes of the movie. The opening credits made…

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Queen of Outer Space (1958)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Edward Bernds REVIEW- All of our leading scientists assured us that the planet Venus was uninhabited… that the green-house effect had run wild there and had made the atmosphere toxic. The temperature on the surface, our scientists…

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Bail Out (1989)

RATING- ✮✮ DIRECTOR- Max Kleven REVIEW- There have been some truly talented male/female pairings in Hollywood… Humphrey Bogart & Lauren Bacall… Spencer Tracy & Katherine Hepburn… Clark Gable & Lana Turner… Well, you can add another couple to that list:…

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Time Barbarians (1990)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Joseph J. Barmettler REVIEW- I used to watch the television show American Gladiators and think: “One day, I’m gonna work out and get my body into shape. Then train as hard as I can until I’m an…

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Zombie Lake (1981)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Jesús Franco REVIEW- I like zombie movies… I imagine most guys do. So, for a movie to shoot straight up to #1 on my zombie movie list, it has to be exceptional.  Well, Zombie Lake is beyond exceptional!  Take…

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Robo Vampire (1988)

RATING- ✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Godfrey Ho REVIEW- I have no clue what Robo Vampire is about. I watched it… Then, I watched it again… Nope… no idea whatsoever. I’m not sure the writers, producers, director, or anyone (not under the influence…

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Fatal Justice (1994)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Gerald Cain REVIEW- Every once in a while, God looks down upon you and smiles: you get some extra french-fries you didn’t order…you find a $20 bill on the ground… you stumble across a gas station that’s…

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Women In Fury (1985)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Michele Massimo Tarantini REVIEW- I realize that not all female criminals look as scary as Eileen Wuornos… but c’mon, this Brazilian prison seems to be populated by the models from the latest issue of the Sports Illustrated…

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Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein (1972)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Jesús Franco REVIEW- If you like watching people scream for no apparent reason… or you like vampire movies shot in Mexico… or you simply like watching a werewolf with an afro battle Frankenstein… then Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein is…

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Man Beast (1956)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- Jerry Warren REVIEW- The Yeti exist!  Whatever you want to call them… Bigfoot, Abominable Snowmen, Sasquatch, Skunk Ape or, my personal favorite, Devil Monkey… they make this world just a little more exciting. I like believing that…

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War Goddess (1973)

RATING- ✮✮✮ DIRECTOR- Terence Young REVIEW- Cat-fight! Rrrrrrrrrr! Meow!  This little stinker of a movie has plenty of them. (What would you expect from an all-male Italian production of a B-movie romp from the ’70s??!?)  Hopefully, if the all-female mythical…

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Malibu Express (1985)

RATING- ✮✮ DIRECTOR- Andy Sidaris REVIEW- Take a simple Texas country boy…give him some tiny jeans and an enormous mustache…throw in a plot that even the writers of Murder, She Wrote would’ve found stupefying and contrived…and you’ve got yourself Malibu Express!  Think…

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Count Dracula’s Great Love (1973)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Javier Aguirre REVIEW- What’s the first thing you think of when I say “Count Dracula”???  MEXICO!!!!  Nothin’ quite like a Mexican vampire movie!  Deep in the dusty deserts of Northern Mexico, also known as Transylvania, lies a…

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Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Kim Ki-duk REVIEW-   When former President Bush announced the ‘Axis Of Evil’ members included Iraq, Iran, and North Korea…well, I was a little skeptical.  I mean, how could North Korea be included on such a notorious…

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Angels’ Wild Women (1972)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- Al Adamson REVIEW- Don’t let the title fool you…  Sure there are biker chicks kickin’ behinds, but Angels’ Wild Women is really a delicate love story.  A love story between a biker and his chick… Between a biker and his…

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The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968)

RATING- ✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Jesús Franco REVIEW-  Let’s say you’re an astronomically wealthy Chinese warlord. And let’s say you have enemies all over the world, who you desperately want to kill. And let’s also say you have about 200 or so…

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Prince of Space (1959)

RATING- ✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Eijirô Wakabayashi REVIEW-  A group of about 8 chicken-men from the planet Krankor plan to take over the world (I’m guessing they slightly underestimated the population of Earth). Led by the head-rooster himself… The Phantom of Krankor……

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It’s Alive! (1969)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- Larry Buchanan REVIEW- Oh boy! It’s Alive is one stinky bean burrito of a movie. A pre-historic giant frog-monster lives!  I think…  It certainly isn’t the star of this movie. It gets about 10 seconds of face time… out of…

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Giant of the Unknown (1958)

RATING- ✮✮½ DIRECTOR- Richard E. Cunha REVIEW- There’s a giant dead Spanish conquistador roaming the sleepy resort town of Pine Ridge… and he’s desperately looking for a shower! Brought back to life by an electrical storm, the newly reanimated Spaniard…

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Planet of Dinosaurs (1977)

RATING- ✮✮✮✮½ DIRECTOR- James K. Shea REVIEW- Planet of Dinosaurs is about a crew from a crippled spaceship crashes on a foreign world. (Original stuff, huh??!) The crew, led by the extraordinarily timid Captain Lee, consists of a shirtless bodybuilder,…

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White Comanche (1968)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- José Briz Méndez & Gilbert Kay REVIEW- White Comanche is almost accurate… more like Extremely Pale White Comanche! Could the director have picked a more ‘white’ dude than William Shatner to play an Indian??!?  Capt. Kirk, in all his…

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Island of the Fishmen (1979)

RATING- ✮½ DIRECTOR- Sergio Martino REVIEW- Bucking the trend of the late 70s Star Wars craze, Italian filmmaker Sergio Martino decided to go the “fishman” route. I can’t speak to Sergio’s other life choices, but this one seems ill-advised. Mr….

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