Countess Dracula (1971)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮

DIRECTOR– Peter Sasdy

PLOT– An aging countess (Ingrid Pitt) discovers a fountain of youth by bathing in young girls’ blood. At her husband’s funeral, she meets a visiting handsome young officer (Sandor Elès). She falls in love, plans a wedding, and murders many village virgins.


6 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. human speedbumps
  2. a nice relaxing blood bath
  3. unnatural cougars on the prowl
  4. hunks in feather bonnets
  5. chubby butter boys
  6. randy princes with erectile dysfunction

REVIEW– With a title like Countess Dracula, I had high hopes for this one. Unfortunately, it falls flat, becomes dull, ends abruptly, and has almost nothing to do with Dracula (other than both enjoy blood). I was really hoping this film contained gothic scenes of a female vampire stalking her prey in an eerie fog… hypnotizing her victims with piercing eyes and then sinking her sharp teeth into their necks.

Nope… There are plenty of scenes of whining though.


It seems the countess, the part being early in the once vibrant career of Ingrid Pitt, is unable to do her own dirty work. She cries and complains until someone else provides her some virgin blood.


Imagine watching a full-length feature film about your annoying cousin who whines when she doesn’t get her way… you’ve just imagined this movie.

It is a Hammer production though. So it’s got wonderful sets, great costumes, a vibrant soundtrack, an eerie atmosphere, and plenty of buxom village girls in tight corsets. Which is a good thing, cause it at least gives you something to look at while the countess whines through scene after scene.

For Hammer Studios fans only.

FAULTY FACTS– The poster for Countess Dracula features pictures of two women. The smaller picture is the star Ingrid Pitt as the older “Countess”. The other much, much larger picture is actress Andrea Lawrence, who plays “Ziza” the prostitute. “Ziza” is in roughly 10 minutes of the film, while the “Countess” is in almost every scene.

Why?… you ask…

I’ll give you two guesses…

Bald guys really do get the chicks.