Drive In Massacre (1976)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮½

DIRECTOR– Stu Segall

PLOT– After a series of grisly murders at the local drive-in, two middle-aged police detectives attempt to catch the killers by interviewing every single gosh-darn person at that drive-in. EVERY SINGLE ONE… oh, and dressing in women’s clothing.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. minimum wage jobs with Pinocchio hats
  2. making popcorn wayyyyy too early
  3. sword-swallowing buddies
  4. middle-aged people swapping spit
  5. coroners talkin’ out dey ass

REVIEW– Do you like interviews about sword-swallowing? Lots and lots of interviews about sword-swallowing?

Drive In Massacre is the movie for you. It’s basically like watching some bad actors recreate the transcripts of police interviews in their entirety. They don’t leave out anything. Introductions… getting coffee… sitting… all that super exciting stuff. Plus, they interview everybody… about sword-swallowing. And then interview them again… about sword-swallowing.

And then interview them again a 3rd or 4th time… about sword-swallowing.

And if that wasn’t enough for ya, for good measure they throw in a flashback scene where they replay those same interviews… about (you guessed it) sword-swallowing!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love a film that doesn’t rely on explosions and special effects. Drive In Massacre didn’t even attempt anything like that. Unfortunately, they did attempt to write stuff. Why they chose sword-swallowing is a mystery. But they did, so the dialogue in this film reads like an instruction manual on (of all things) sword-swallowing. And there is no ending… Literally. The movie just stops. Swear to god… just stops. Well, whatever. There are too many things that just don’t make any sense and absolutely nothing of any significance happens in this movie anyway. So when it stopped, it was almost a relief.

The manager promised it wasn’t possible, but Ed insisted he found a toupée in his nachos.

FUN FACT– The one and only killer shown in Drive In Massacre (which turns out to be a red herring and a completely needless waste of time) is played by that bum on the bench in Back To The Future.

Actor “Buck” Flower