Escape From Galaxy 3 (1981)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮✮

DIRECTOR– Bitto Albertini (as Ben Norman)

PLOT– Who needs a plot. It’s just a beautiful message. One that resonates throughout the galaxy and is as old as the universe itself… Don’t wait for the evil emperor Oraclon, The Powerful King Of The Night, to fire exhaust missiles at your Planet Exelon and hit your energy charge shields so that they reach 6,000 mega degrees and crash land on ancient earth and get captured by a vigilante tribe of skirt-wearing men before you realize your true love was right there in front of you all along wearing their see-through-space-outfit-with-a-bedazzled-star-appliqué-over-the-nipple-area!
If only we all lived by such advice…

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. costumes designed by ice skating great Johnny Weir
  2. Isaac Hayes with glitter in his beard
  3. “mega-“ things
  4. water buffalo humor
  5. Ancient Greek disco clubs

REVIEW– Evidently, Escape From Galaxy 3 was written by the top scientists over at NASA. The technical terminology used in this movie makes my brain hurt. I mean, how is a guy supposed to understand the verbiage describing the applied industrial science these characters use. Phrases like “mega degrees” and “mega lasers” and “mega shield” litter the screenplay. Galaxy number 3 is an advanced place.
They also have hella good taste in music. The soundtrack is a wicked dive into European 70’s disco-funk. And the costumes, inspired by The N.Y. Dolls and KISS, are appropriately skin tight and see through.
It’s not a bad movie, just confused. Stars Wars rip-off? Yes. Spartacus angry gladiators? Yep. When Harry Met Sally love story? You betcha.
Escape From Galaxy 3 has a lot going on. A little bit of something for everyone.

FUN FACT– Actress Sherry Buchanan who plays Belle Star also starred in a few other Italian shockers. Zombi Holocaust, Tentacles, and The Secret Of Seagull Island among others. She also had a part in a lost “treasure”… the film Maldoror from director Alberto Cavallone. Below is an exert describing the lost film:

So, if you happen to be going through your grandparents attic and come across an Italian dubbed erotic film about nuns, don’t assume your grandpa was a dirty old man. Send it to Hollywood, cause you just found a long lost priceless treasure.