Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮½

DIRECTOR– Barbara Peeters

PLOT– Hypersexual walking fish monsters emerge from the ocean to find suitable human females to get their freakydeak on. A sensible fisherman, an evil fisherman, and an American Indian activist decide to fight back. So they hold a carnival. It doesn’t work.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. Fish sex
  2. 7yr-olds with flaming javelins
  3. Sex with a ventriloquist dummy splinter jokes
  4. Disc-jockeys in visors
  5. The ugliest baby ever born

REVIEW– Honestly, I’ll never look at my goldfish the same way again.

After watching Humanoids from the Deep it’s abundantly clear that when fish haven’t had sex for a while, they can get extremely violent… like not-enough-cream-in-my-coffee-and-you’re-a-dead-man violent.

I’m now keenly aware that when I purchase my next aquarium I’ll need to furnish it with a waterbed, satin-sheets, and tiny little prophylactics.

The fish in this film are the angriest fish I’ve ever seen. Little kids, beach-going teenagers, small-town jazz-bands, county fair beauty pageant winners, radio disc-jockeys, balding mayors, American Indians, and even cats and dogs aren’t safe… these fish are f#&king horny and pissed off!

The slightly emasculated Doug McClure happens to call his home the town where these oversexed salmon-freaks come ashore and the poor guy has no idea what to do. He sets off with a scientist, a rifle, and no plan whatsoever.

So he flirts with the scientist, shoots his rifle, and fumbles around for most of the film.

Needless to say, none of this has any chance of defeating these passionate-cod. They run amock through the city, killing as they see fit and humping almost every girl they can find.

Humanoids from the Deep is a pretty silly movie that tries hard to be Jaws… but comes off more like an Ed Wood remake of Creature from the Black Lagoon.

I enjoyed it and I suppose there’s plenty of blood, gore, and bouncy breasts to make most b-movie lovers happy.

Check it out if for no other reason than to see lots of lewd tuna/human intercourse.


Doug sat through all 3 hours of the Today Show.