Invasion UFO (1974)

Spread the weird

RATING– ★★★½

DIRECTOR– Gerry Anderson & Tomblin Summers Frankel

PLOT– A swingin’ threesome of outdoor-loving youth stumble upon a UFO in the forest, whip out their camera and, even though they are hunted and killed off one by one, they manage to film the metallic visitor from another world.

The USA gets ahold of the film and sends their best albino to convince the British government that the UFO menace is real.

SHADO, the Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization, is created by Straker… the only man who ever lived that pronounces U.F.O. as the word “You-Foe”…

Straker sets about hunting these evil You-Foe’s!

He sets up a network of defense systems and gives his soldiers the worst uniforms the universe has ever seen…

…including requiring his all-female moon-soldiers to wear purple wigs…

(Glam Rock eye shadow and silver leatherette onesies protect astronauts from cosmic radiation… that’s 100% fact… look it up)

After screwing up every single encounter he has with the You-Foe’s , he finally stumbles upon their underwater base… with help from his submarine force who dress in full-body fishnets with nameplate nipple protectors…

He infiltrates the base and is confronted by the You-Foe’s security… which mainly consists of one turtle-necked dude with bad hair and an even worse mustache…

Straker also learns the You-Foe’s are planning to attack the moon with a huge fleet of You-Foe’s… about 7.

The moon-base interceptors are armed with space-dildos and launched…

… and the You-Foe’s are defeated for good…

Or are they…???

Well… yes, they were… the series was not renewed for another season.

3 THINGS WE LEARNED

  1. About 10 years in the future, terry-cloth jumpsuits and children’s helmets will become standard issue with military pilots
  2. About 10 years in the future, the moon will be solely occupied by purple-haired members of ABBA
  3. About 10 years in the future, spaceship lasers will have been replace by personal sex toys

REVIEW– 3.5 stars… that’s our rating for this flick.

Not because its 3.5 stars worth of great drama.

Not at all.

Its 3.5 stars of wacky 70s sci-fi, disco-infused jimmy-jammin’, ABBA-inspired hair-sprayed, New York Dolls on acid, funky-butt sauce… and there ain’t a panty-line in sight!

Oh yeah!

Invasion UFO is a compilation of the television show that ran for 26 episodes in 1970-1971… and it is readily apparent. There’s no real story… Everything that happens, happens at a breakneck pace… Characters float in and out of existence…

But just when you think the film is gonna become unwatchable… either someone shows up in a space-outfit more at home in the cocaine room at Studio 54… or a spaced-out synthesized ditty, so funktastic you’d swear Bootsy Collins is hiding in your closet, blares outta the speakers!

And you and your dog do the frickin’ Hustle in your La-Z-Boy!

Go feather your hair, buy a baby-blue jumpsuit with a rhinestone belt, and tell Alexa to play Invasion USA…

And if Alexa hesitates, throw her out of the window and get a good ol’ fashioned clicker!


Have no idea who this dude is reading to, but if its my child I’m calling the cops right this frickin’ minute!