Lady Street Fighter (1981)

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RATING– ✮✮

DIRECTOR– James Bryan

PLOT– IMDB says it’s about an Eastern European lady named Linda Allen (that’s a European name…really!) who comes to the United States to search for her sister’s killer and gets caught up in a web of nefarious mob and FBI activities.

Linda does have a ridiculous German accent. I suppose somebody somewhere in this film mentions the mafia and a couple of guys act like government agents…

But c’mon, this film makes no sense.

Lady Street Fighter, at best, was shot with a script written on a napkin from the bar the screenwriter happened to frequent the night before filming.

…at BEST.

Random scenes are strung together with some incomprehensible dialogue and presented as a complete movie.

Well, it’s not a complete movie.

I’m not sure what it is, but it’s definitely not a complete movie.

Expect to be baffled by the story and you won’t be disappointed.

3 THINGS WE LEARNED

  1. See-thru lace rompers are standard issue for the Danish Secret Service
  2. Danish spies frickin’ hate it when you touch their stuffed animals
  3. The correct way to disinfect your telephone is to lick with your tongue

REVIEW– After watching Lady Street Fighter, I’ll tell you exactly what makes a great spy movie… what builds mystery and intrigue… what keeps audiences on the edge of their seats…

Phone calls. Lots of phone calls.

And not just ordinary phone calls but phone calls where one person just yells “Hello?!… Hello?!…” a lot. Like when your hard-of-hearing grandmother forgets to put in her hearing aids before calling you for your birthday and has to yell for you to repeat yourself after every sentence!

Those type of phone calls scream “spy thriller”.

You know what else evokes that James Bond exhilaration? This guy…

Nothing says “sexy, suave & debonair” like prancing around in a bedazzled bull-fighter’s prom outfit while sporting a perm on your head as well as your beard.

But all that (and a whole lot more nonsense) is what makes Lady Street Fighter worth watching.

Silly accents, a stripper way past-her-prime, a leading man sleep-walking through an entire movie, shower after shower after pointless shower, kung-fu fighting choreographed by your 9-year-old nephew, women making dirty-calls to federal agents eating Doritos… all of that is exactly what’s fun about this film.

After this movie was filmed in 1975, it was never going to see the light of day. It languished away in a backroom all but forgotten to the world. But with the VHS craze that swept family rooms and creepy uncle’s bedrooms, in 1981 Lady Street Fighter found an audience.

So be thankful we get to see this flick. If it wasn’t for some shady VHS rental store needing to fill out one of its corner shelves, this thing may still be stuck in some producer’s attic.


Hoping to match the success of “Scratch-n-sniff”, Taco Bell introduced “Telephone-n-tongue”.