Mission Stardust (1967)

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RATING– ✮✮✮

DIRECTOR– Primo Zaglilo

PLOT– NASA sends astronauts to the moon on a secret mission to recover a rare metal ore. However, instead of metal, they discover a dominatrix and some sick aliens have stranded themselves on the moon. In order to help these diseased extraterrestrials, they hatch a plan to invade Africa to get the healing serum they need.

7 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. robots who don’t blink
  2. platinum blondes
  3. evil Italian rich guys
  4. sleepy puppies
  5. used car salesmen
  6. skin-tight unitards
  7. naughty nurses

REVIEW– Major Perry Rhodan (Lang Jeffries) is a good astronaut, but a better human being. He leads a NASA mission to the moon and instead of finding scientific discoveries, he finds aggressive robots who kidnap him and his friends. But he doesn’t get mad. Upon meeting aliens who insult and demean his rocket, he still doesn’t lose his cool. In fact, upon learning one of those bad aliens is sick, his first reaction is to help.

Major Rhodan is the man we all strive to be. (I would’ve probably waved my polio vaccine and tube of Neosporin in their condescending faces as I drove away on my moon buggy)

However, this is where the story goes off the rails. The theme of the film moves from Sci-fi to Medical Drama to Spy Thriller to War Film in the blink of an eye. If you were to step out to make some microwave popcorn for a minute or two, when you return, no one would blame you for thinking someone changed the channel.

Luminara prepares for a Close Encounter of the 69th Kind… If ya know what I mean!
Ba-dum-tsss
Thanks. I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your servers.

FUN FACTMission Stardust does not appear in the Top 10 films of 1967. But that may not be the film’s fault… Well, it probably is, but take a look at some other movies that were playing in movie theaters in 1967:

  • Cool Hand Luke
  • The Producers
  • A Man For All Seasons
  • The Dirty Dozen
  • The Graduate
  • The Jungle Book
  • In The Heat Of The Night
  • You Only Live Twice
  • Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?
  • Bonnie and Clyde