DIRECTOR– David Winters
REVIEW– Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “That’s a heck of a space movie!”?
Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “Those are some awesome sets!”?
Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “Darth Vader is such a great villain!”?
Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “Han Solo is so cool!”?
Remember when you saw Star Wars and thought “Leia looks cute in her costumes!”?
Yeah, well… how do I break this to you?
Space Mutiny is slightly different.
How about spaceships made of brick walls. Or a villain named after a woman’s bath product? Or a hero who runs like a less coordinated Urkel from Family Matters? Or a sexy heroine about as alluring as your grandmother doing the Jane Fonda workout?
I didn’t even mention the exciting space-golfcart chases that reach speeds of close to 7 mph.
…Or the chemistry between the leading man and lady that is about as red hot as a two 12 yr old pimply spelling bee champions with braces on a first date.
…Or Commander Santa Claus.
…Or the hula hoop discotheque.
…Or the endless running around of all the extras for no reason at all. I swear, a good 30 minutes of this movie –one third of the entire film– is filled with people running back and forth, up and down, left and right, all over the place, completely devoid of justification. They just run. And then run some more. And then run some more.
The story is something like this: the villain wants to reroute a spaceship to somewhere… and that’s bad. Then some extras run around. The hero, Dave Ryder, with help from the commander’s grandmother… er, daughter, Leah Jansen, tries to stop him… and that’s good. Then some extras run around.
It’s all very Battlestar Galactica if Battlestar Galactica were directed by your aunt.
Then some extras run around.