Sworn to Justice (1996)

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RATING– ✭

DIRECTOR– Paul Maslak

PLOT– A super sexy public-defender appointed psychiatrist uses her clairvoyant skills to bring equity to a corrupt big-city justice system. Using advanced karate skills, seductive good-looks, and gossip, she brings herself closer and closer to finding the reason behind the city’s fraudulent ways… and what she finds hits closer to home than she ever could have expected.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. Naughty T’ai Chi
  2. Dan “The Man” for mayor
  3. Death by jumper-cables
  4. Kung fu in mini-skirts
  5. Peeping police

REVIEW– Eventually we had to get here. It’s been over 10 years now of watching movies that some consider “cheesy” and we’ve never reviewed a Cynthia Rothrock film.

Well, today’s the day.

All I can say is I’m kinda glad it took 10 years to get around to one of Ms. Rothrock’s entries because this movie is terrible.

…and not in a good way.

Sworn to Justice is guilty of the worst crime a movie can be accused of… boredom. Long scenes that lead nowhere. Conversations that lead nowhere. Plot details that lead nowhere. It’s just a dull, uninspired film.

It’s a shame too because Cynthia Rothrock, who plays psychiatrist Janna, is not terrible. She’s obviously a talented athlete and has a look that personifies those cheesy 90s action-flicks… blonde and fit. Her acting leaves something to be desired, but it could be forgiven if the movie was original or fun or… heck, I’d even settle for competent.

But it’s not.

The major plot device that drives the entire story (Janna’s clairvoyant ability) is never explained. I guess we are just to assume she’s one of the X-Men in some horrible spin-off movie from that acclaimed franchise. Without any explanation, Cynthia Rothrock’s character has the ability to see the past through trigger objects while also possessing Jackie Chan fighting abilities every time she encounters a bad guy… much like a pathetic Jean Grey.

Professor Charles Xavier must be so disappointed… and so will you when you watch this horribly boring movie.


Doug had a very special Heimlich maneuver for anyone wearing lingerie.