DIRECTOR– Al Adamson
PLOT– Sandy, a naive wayward young woman, has moved to Las Vegas to pursue her dream of being a waitress in a wood-paneled, dirty, grungy bar.
While working one night, she meets the man of her dreams… a dreamboat lounge singer from a wood-paneled, dirty, grungy bar.
Predictably, this dreamboat is really just lookin’ for a good time and Sandy is lookin’ for a husband. She loses it and decides to commit suicide by overdose.
Luckily Libby the go-go dancer, her best (only) friend in Las Vegas, regularly breaks into her friend’s apartment and finds her passed out on the bed.
Libby is so concerned about Sandy’s use of drugs that she decides to kidnap her and take her to a lesbian cult run by Grace, a drug addict and dealer…
…Great plan, Libby!
After surviving her initiation into the lesbian cult/drug-dealing gang >>>which involves laying in a coffin for 45 seconds, cause… that’s what lesbian drug-dealing cults do, I guess<<< they all head to Mexico.
In Mexico, things get a little randy… dancing, drinking, and a few games of hide-the-churro with the locals! >>>which is odd, considering they are lesbians<<<
After blowing off a little steam south of the border, they head back to the lesbian cult/drug dealing gang’s ranch to hide the Mexican drugs they scored with the ranch’s horse trainer Monti.
Monti is convinced the leader of the lesbian cult/drug-dealing gang is sweet on him because…
…he’s a hunk o’ burnin love!
The girls take a shower and lesbian cult member Denise invites her boyfriend(?) to visit. They have a little sexy-time in the barn.
Grace finds out and burns a cross in the boyfriend’s forehead.
He’s not too happy about it and vows revenge.
The lesbian cult/drug-dealing gang head back to Mexico for some more churro-hiding and pick up more drugs.
When they get back to the ranch, Grace hits Monti with a hammer, stabs a guy with a pitchfork, and takes off her shirt.
This is all too much for Sandy. She flees with a boy she has rescued from the barn and they head out to a desert canyon to also take off their shirts… and talk about what’s really important in life… broads.
After her lesbian cult/drug-dealing gang leaves her, Grace sets out on horseback… determined to kill Sandy for leaving. >>>why she only chooses to kill Sandy, who knows<<<
Grace confronts Sandy and pulls out a gun… and is shot in the neck by Monti…
…Evidently, having your head caved in by a hammer isn’t all that bad.
Sandy cries and a horrible song plays over the credits.
3 THINGS WE LEARNED–
- People often find the greatest thing that ever happened to them in disgusting Las Vegas dive bars
- In order to join a lesbian drug-dealing cult, one must prove their “horsemanship”
- DO NOT bring flowers to the leader of a lesbian drug-dealing cult
REVIEW– I lived in Arizona for years and years… I crossed into Mexico border towns numerous times…
…and not once… not one single time… did I encounter a hay-covered bar populated by white guys in ponchos who spoke with outrageously thick Mexican accents fighting over some girls.
Believe me… I wish I had.
The Mexican border towns are actually filled with Walmart’s, Home Depot’s, and Burger King’s… not exactly the places where dangerous outlaws hang out… and that’s very disappointing.
I would’ve loved to have returned from my visit to Mexico with a story about being slapped around and ravaged by a lesbian cult/drug-dealing gang!
Instead, I came back with a slightly racially-insensitive sombrero I bought for $14…
Horny, savage, half-dressed lesbians who want to do some freaky stuff in the hay sound like way more fun than crappy Mexican souvenirs.
So anyway… besides featuring a lesbian cult/drug-dealing gang, The Female Bunch is a pretty crummy movie. Not much happens, the script seems to have been written after the movie was filmed, and, somehow, almost the entire movie is out-of-focus.
Al Adamson… he was a doozy of a director.
The most interesting thing about the film is that it was filmed at the infamous Spahn Ranch… while Charles Manson was living there with his cult and just a month or so before Manson carried out his murder spree.
I find it a very creepy coincidence that this film features a cult leader carving a cross in someone’s forehead… and then Manson does the same thing a few months later.
Very very creepy.