The Forbidden Dance (1990)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮✮½

DIRECTOR– Greydon Clark

PLOT– The Amazonian rainforest is a goldmine filled with natural treasures that corporations want to exploit. The American company Petramco has set its sights on part of the rainforest inhabited by a tribe of indigenous sexy-dancin’ folk. As Petramco agents roll their jeeps into a jungle village, they interrupt some Amazonians doing the stanky-leg-boogie, which upsets the tribal king, his daughter Princess Nissa, and the mute (except for a few primitive “wabba-wacca-wahhhhh’s” he yells every once in a while) witch-doctor. They immediately fly to America in order to convince the CEO of Petramco to reconsider destroying the Earth for profit. That doesn’t go so well… so Princess Nissa gets a job as a maid. That doesn’t go so well… so Princess Nissa gets a job as an escort. That doesn’t go so well… so Princess Nissa gets a job as a backup dancer for the supergroup Kid Creole & The Coconuts. That goes marginally better… Princess Nissa, along with her extremely white boyfriend Jason, convinces a club filled with dozens of club-hopping twentysomethings to stop buying Petramco products. Evidently, that saves the rainforest and they live happily ever after!

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. indigenous people in thongs
  2. indigenous people throwing fireworks
  3. indigenous people being arrested
  4. indigenous people sharing their lunches
  5. Jason & Nissa – the heroes who saved the Earth by dancing

REVIEW– The evil corporation in The Forbidden Dance is named ‘Petramco’.

What the hell does the word ‘Petramco’ stand for, you ask?

No clue.

The movie gives us no hints either. It never explains what products they make… how people might use them… why someone might need a Petramco item… never shows us a product… or their factory. Absolutely nothing… nada. Nothing to point us in the direction of what the hell Petramco might make.

So I decided I might have a go at figuring out what this secretive company might produce…

Considering the name Petramco, here are my 2 best guesses:

  • Petramco– Products for people’s pet rams… such as ram collars, ram shampoo, ram chew toys, ram pooper-scoopers, and what every uncastrated male sheep goes crazy for… ram-nip! Heck, the rainforest is probably full of things rams love.

or…

  • Petramco– A tram that travels the streets available for people with small bladders to pee in… the “pee-tram” could run on rails, like a train, so that folks knew its schedule and could plan their urinating at convenient times. Or maybe it’s a driverless smart-tram, able to be summoned by people with an app on their phone whenever they feel pressure in their pelvic area.

Either way, it’s clear Petramco is a major player in the world of international commerce… their corporate offices have two security guards and two decorative ferns!

The Forbidden Dance is a Greydon Clark production. So it’s a terrible movie.

So terrible, it crosses that weird line where a bad movie becomes a wonderfully awful movie.

Nothing in this movie is intentionally well-done, yet it’s entertaining throughout its sublimely inept 97 minutes… Gloriously dreadful actors placed in wildly inane situations delivering truly absurd dialogue!

Now that’s my cup of tea.


Even the extras tried not to be in this movie.