The Giant Claw (1957)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮✮

DIRECTOR– Fred F. Sears

PLOT– Mitch, an electrician with serious self-confidence issues, somehow convinces the Air Force to let him fly one of their experimental planes. He sees a UFO the size of a battleship and reports his encounter. The Air Force is not buying it.

A flying battleship??? Nope. They ain’t buying it…

until…

The flying UFO battleship attacks some more Air Force planes.

The Air Force puts its most melodramatic generals on the case. They say “battleship” about 118 times and then send more planes after the UFO.

Turns out this UFO isn’t a cute little Spielberg-type ET. Nope.

It’s a frickin’ huge chicken! A giant chick-fil-a from outer space! A colossal 8-piece meal of original recipe made of anti-matter!

And it’s pretty ticked…

The mega-rooster causes havoc all over the world.

Luckily, Mitch accidentally invents an anti-matter anti-weapon and fires it at that crazy feathered cock.

It works and the world lives happily-ever-after… that is until Japan pisses off a really big lizard.

3 THINGS WE LEARNED

  1. The US Air Force standards for hiring were very lax in the 50s
  2. Giant space chickens hate planes
  3. “Guns, canons, rockets!”

REVIEW– When I was young I had a best friend who had chickens. About 15 of them. Mostly, their day consisted of wandering around, clucking, and hiding out in their coop.

They were, of course, regular sized chickens. Maybe 14-20 inches tall. About 4-5 pounds. Regular.

Additionally, as far as I know, his chickens were from this planet. Not alien chickens, but good ‘ol earthling chickens.

There are other types of chickens out there, though… bald, ugly, bug-eyed chickens with really bad comb-overs!

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the big ones come from outer space!

Those crazy-eyed feathered freakazoids traveled light-years across space just to lay some eggs on the cliff of some mountain. God bless those poor hillbillies that stumble out of their cabin and find a mega-chicken with a mohawk squawking like a winged savior here to seek vengeance on Colonel Sanders himself.

I know I’d be wondering whether I was enjoying a little to much moonshine if I discovered a Godzilla-sized hen doing a bad imitation of a flying Sid Vicious in my backyard.

Terrifying.

And guess what?!? That damn extraterrestrial parrot is made of anti-matter! You know… that quantum stuff that baffled Albert Einstein.

Well, if the greatest mind that ever walked upon the earth can’t figure something out, you should automatically go to the second greatest mind… Mitch the glorified Radio Shack employee.

Cause Mitch uses Brylcreem.

All the gals (and alien chickens) go for a guy with well-groomed hair!

The Giant Claw is a silly, fantastic monster movie with the most ridiculous little green alien/huge gray chicken ever filmed.

See it… it won’t kill you.


Janet claimed a mouse must’ve died under her seat, but Brad knew the truth… Janet crop-dusted the entire row.