The Great American Girl Robbery (1979)

Spread the weird

RATING– ½

DIRECTOR– Jeff Werner

PLOT– A terrorist organization formed by former professional football players kidnaps a school bus full of cheerleaders. Two bungling police detectives attempt to rescue the girls and bring justice to the criminals.

7 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. terrorist comedy
  2. the worst comb-over in history
  3. soul brothers named Joyful Jerome
  4. fights over scrambled eggs
  5. Stockholm Syndrome to the extreme
  6. a really, really disgusting rope
  7. totally not suspicious balloon salesmen

REVIEW– In honor of Super Bowl 53, this week we screened The Great American Girl Robbery… because it has football players and cheerleaders in it. And football games have football players and cheerleaders. However, let me warn you, if you have a choice between watching this movie and watching the Super Bowl, definitely watch the Super Bowl. Even if you HATE football, watch the Super Bowl. In fact, if you have a choice between watching this movie and watching someone reading about the Super Bowl, do yourself a favor and watch the person reading about the Super Bowl. That’s how bad this movie is. There’s very little redeeming qualities to a film whose main purpose is to fill a room with bra less teenagers (and make no mistake, that is the only reason this movie was made). There’s a funky 70’s music soundtrack and maybe a nostalgic look at disco-inspired fashion, but that’s about the only semi-enjoyable parts. The script was written by someone that had better things to do. The director seems to be coaxing apathy from his actors. The actors showed up for a paycheck. This goes on for almost 87 minutes and then, thankfully, the final scene… where the crooks try to outwit the police to steal the ransom. It’s got a couple twists and turns and funky music… but utterly fails and sputters out weakly like every other scene in this disaster, mainly because everyone involved really doesn’t care. I’m guessing the writer imagined an Ocean’s Eleven type scenario, but then decided a clever ending was was too much to work and went for a pizza instead.

FUN FACTThe Great American Girl Robbery features the part of disc jockey “Joyfol Jerome” played by Leon Isaac Kennedy. Kennedy, as a disc jockey during the late 60’s, was known as “Leon the Lover’ at the time. His following exploded not only among his young audience, but musicians and the movers & shakers involved in every facet of the entertainment business. The powers-that-be realized that this young kid with a rather magic, contagious smile affecting everyone around him had something different… and marketable. In other words, the 19 year old was considered a “find” in the business, one that could easily be sold. Leon had everything going for him: good looks, charm, articulate and when sitting or standing before a microphone proved to be a kind of magnet, attracting millions of listeners to his smooth sounding voice and teasing showbiz banter.When Leon arrived in Hollywood, he married Jane Kennedy, 1970s “Miss Ohio.” They both took the town by storm. Leon with many of his Motown buddies in the business as well as locked on to new powerful forces in Hollywood. Eventually Mr. Kennedy became a Christian minister and partnered with Smokey Robinson to produced Smokey Robinson Foods.

Something awesome is happening just to the left of the camera!