The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮✮

DIRECTOR– Del Tenney

PLOT– Connecticut environmental laws seem to have been quite lax in 1964. A boat filled with nuclear waste motors about 300 yards out from a popular party beach and dumps its waste over the side. At the bottom, the waste begins to leak on an old sunken wreck. One of its long-dead sailor’s skeletons fuses with a passing fish and begins to grow fish-mutant flesh.

Over at the beach, Hank has arrived at the party with his wayward girlfriend Tina. Tina wants to dance and Hank warns her of the dangers of dancing. A local biker gang shows up at the dance party. They’re real tough guys who wear sunglasses and stop people from clapping.

Tina notices the leader of the tough-guy gang and starts to shake her money-maker in his direction. They kiss. Hank doesn’t really like this and confronts the leader of the tough-guys. A brawl breaks out and some guy in speedo does a couple somersaults… it’s total mayhem!!!

Hank and the tough-guy leader realize their immaturity and shake hands. The music continues.

Meanwhile, Tina has swum to an island where she is attacked by the fish-mutant.

The police are notified and they turn to local acclaimed scientist Dr. Gavin and his teen daughter Elaine. Dr. Gavin possesses elite carbon-14 skills and his daughter possesses perfect blonde hair and northern-European good looks.

The fish-mutant learns of an all-girl slumber party happening and invites more fish-mutants to join him in a panty raid. The raid goes sideways and most girls end up murdered.

Three disreputable girls arrive in town. The visit the local gas station, flirt with a mechanic and get murdered by some fish-mutants.

Two more improper young women are stalked by a fish-mutant. They are picked up by a really nice, totally normal middle-aged guy in a pickup. Being disappointed he wasn’t able to murder them, the fish-mutant attacks a store mannequin and drops an arm. Dr. Garvin and his somewhat racist maid inspect the arm and figure out sodium is the only way to kill the fish-mutants. Hank volunteers to drive a convertible to NYC to get a trunk-full of sodium. Elaine decides to go after the fish-mutant at the local quarry and is attacked.

Fortunately, Dr. Gavin arrives just in time and explodes the fish-mutant with his only supply of sodium.

Unfortunately, more fish-mutants start to attack.

Fortunately, Hank arrives with a crap-load of sodium.

Unfortunately, Hank throws some of it on Dr. Gavin and burns him.

They go to the hospital and live happily ever after in their fully-electric 6-way adjustable hospital bed.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. Fish-mutants with hotdogs for teeth
  2. Wayward youth who listen to rock-n-roll
  3. World-renown scientists who work in their basements
  4. Connecticut families who still employ slaves
  5. Dancing teens everywhere!

REVIEW– It would appear that the world was a better place in the 60s…

People hung out at the beach and danced their day away at parties hosted by national recording artists.

World-renown scientists smoked pipes while handling specimens and worked out of their basements.

Street gangs didn’t sell drugs and commit violent crime, they wore stylish leather jackets and danced with their best girls.

Gas stations were full-service and it costs $4.00 to fill up your car.

Teens got together for slumber-parties, organized sing-a-longs in their pajamas, and had wild pillow fights.

Single-parent/child households weren’t filled with anxiety and strife, they were filled with loving embraces and baked goods.

However, it may all have been just been appearance.

You see, folks in the 60s also had to deal with nuclear radiation (from power-plant waste or nuclear missiles or rogue scientific experiments) and the terrible effects caused by that radiation…

  • Giant lizards wreaking havoc all over Japan
  • People turning into invisible murderers
  • Gila monsters, ants, and spiders growing at terrifying rates
  • Fish-mutants turning in zombies who drink human blood

Really, it’s amazing our parents and grandparents even lived through that time. Can you imagine waking up every day knowing there’s a 50-foot tall woman in a mini-skirt running around your neighborhood?!!

Can you visualize you and your friends getting together on Saturday for an afternoon picnic and a relaxing swim in the local swimming hole only to find out it has been renamed “The Black Lagoon” and is home to a hideously deformed creature that has the hots for your girlfriend?!!!

Yeah, I couldn’t deal with that.

So I’ll take pandemics, social unrest, and murder hornets. I can deal with that stuff.

But scientists slowing turning into man-sized flies?… can’t do it.


Fred’s Drive-Thru Nose Job Clinic was in for a busy day.