The Majorettes (1987)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮½

DIRECTOR– S. William Hinzman

PLOT– A serial killer preys upon a high school cheerleading team suspiciously filled with girls that look to be in their late 20s to early 30s.

5 REASONS TO WATCH

  1. photographers working up a sweat
  2. Tommy’s 1st (and last) very, very bad date
  3. inappropriate camera angles of shirtless hairy dudes
  4. a halftime (not-so) extravaganza
  5. tiny Rick Springfield posters

REVIEW– It’s time to meet the stars of The Majorettes

  • Mace is a Miami Vice suavè Puerto Rican drug lord who leads a Confederate flag toutin’ White Supremest Satanic gang.
  • Sheriff Braden is a difficult to work with, CHIPS sunglasses wearin’ bad pedophile cop who, in his spare time, kills high school band baton twirlers.
  • Helga is a sadistic Austrian in-home health care worker who scams old ladies out of their life savings and administers insulin shots.
  • Harry is a Hee-Haw lovin’, overalls wearin’ autistic man-boy with a good heart who likes to take pictures of teen girls in the shower.
  • Jeff is a troubled, mediocre star quarterback that loves football more than any girl and who secretly possesses more skills than any member of the Green Berets or Seal Team 6.

If it sounds like these disparate characters don’t really belong in the same movie, you might be correct.
However, the makers of this film don’t agree with you.

They’ve made a film that has no idea what it wants to be… Friday the 13th copycat? Silence of the Lambs thriller? Chuck Norris action flick? Rain Man autistic feel-good movie? Yes to all that… and even more!

Sit back, pop some popcorn, and try to figure out The Majorettes.

Jerry’s tie shrank 2 inches when Officer Grant charged his mustache with murder.

FUN FACT– The director of The Majorettes is S. William Hinzman.

Mr. Hinzman, who died in 2012, spent his entire career in the horror genre. In fact, in his first on-screen role, Hinzman played the “Cemetery Zombie” who appears at the beginning of George Romero’s 1968 horror game-changer Night Of The Living Dead… and it was no little part, having spawned an entire generation of zombie copycats. Bill was affectionately known worldwide as the “Number One Zombie”.

Bill Hinzman – the very 1st zombie!