War Goddess (1973)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮✮

DIRECTOR– Terence Young

REVIEW– Cat-fight! Rrrrrrrrrr! Meow! 

This little stinker of a movie has plenty of them. (What would you expect from an all-male Italian production of a B-movie romp from the ’70s??!?) 

Hopefully, if the all-female mythical Greek tribe of über-women ever really existed, they had a little more self-respect than this bunch… these Amazons act more like a sorority house gone wild than a noble matriarchal race of warriors! How can you look yourself in the mirror and call yourself an Amazon when you fight over hair-styles, fashion, and men??!? 

The newly crowned Amazon Queen Antiope is on the job. She’s beat all the other women in tests of strength, bravery, and skill to win the thrown… she’s killed numerous men on the battlefield… she gives inspiring speeches about the virtues of the all-female society… She is one tough estrogen-filled cookie. 

At least until a man winks and smiles her way. 

Her rival, Princess Oreitheia, wants the crown and is willing to do whatever she can to get it… including making fun of the Queen’s clothes and stealing her man! It’s almost like an ancient Greek version of Desperate Housewives

Eventually, Queen Antiope wins that little tug-o-war… although, as you might expect from this all-male Italian production, she eventually succumbs to the Greek King, becomes his concubine, and seems perfectly happy spending the rest of her days decorating the palace and shopping for new sandals. 

Do not let your daughters anywhere near this film! 

Vince was unhappy Barbara used his shirt to make the curtains.