Zombie Lake (1981)

Spread the weird

RATING– ✮✮✮✮½

DIRECTOR– Jesús Franco

REVIEW– I like zombie movies… I imagine most guys do. So, for a movie to shoot straight up to #1 on my zombie movie list, it has to be exceptional. 

Well, Zombie Lake is beyond exceptional! 

Take your run-of-the-mill walking undead movie… throw in some Nazi’s… add some awful dialogue and even worse zombie make-up… leave in a shot where the cameraman and director are clearly visible in a mirror… use the same actors over and over again just with different bad wigs… throw in a mind-boggling out-of-place scene with a jiggly women’s basketball team bouncing around to some Benny Hill music… 

Well, my friend… you’ve just made Zombie Lake… and you’ve just made a cinematic masterpiece! 

But it doesn’t stop there! 

The whole second half of the movie is dedicated to the complicated relationship between a waterlogged Nazi-Zombie and his long-lost daughter. (I’m not kidding) He even manages to give his daughter a necklace as a present and take her for casual walks around town. 

I can’t believe someone even thought of writing that into a script… let alone actually shooting it and putting it in a movie! But I’m sure glad they did! 

A quick run-down of the plot: towards the end of WWII, a German soldier falls in love with a local French girl and they have a child. Infuriated, the French towns-folk massacre the entire German platoon and dump their bodies in the town lake. Some 35 years later, those Nazi-zombies come back and murder anyone who gets too close to the lake (which happens to be lots of nubile young women… funny how that happens.) 

One day, that long-dead German soldier walks by the house where his 13-year-old daughter is living and stops in for a chat. (how his daughter is only 13 years old, yet 35 years has passed, is never explained) They’ve got a lot of catching up to do, but she’s torn… he’s a flesh-eating zombie and should be killed. 

What’s a daughter to do??!? 

Spray her zombie-father with loads of Napalm… and watch him burn, burn, burn!

The only thing in between Janet and all that hair was the last button on Claude’s shirt!